You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
