Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
Randomize
