sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
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