ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
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