Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
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