how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
