my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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