I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I just shotgunned a beer alone in the bathroom...what do you expect from me
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
