it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
she pinky promised me she was 18
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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