I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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