I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
The best revenge is premature balding
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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