I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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