Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
