I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
Randomize
