you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
