Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
Randomize
