So drunk its hurt
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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