she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You pole danced in your parka.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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