You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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