Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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