dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I'm covered in European cum. How's your day going?
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
Randomize
