im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
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