What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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