So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
