no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
