I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
