you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
