also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
