What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
All I remember is an overwhelming desire for chicken nuggets...
Yes, you pinned my brother to the floor by the throat and threatened to slaughter his family if he didn't drive to mcdonalds and get you some.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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