i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
