Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Randomize
