Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
