Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
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