she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
