I puked a lego.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
The adults are the big ones right?
Randomize
