she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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