You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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