I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
I've realized that my life is in no way structured to be compatible with monogamy. I'm not adjusting to this well.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
My boss spotted an injured PIGEON outside the front door this morning (at 3:30am) and requested that I catch it and take it to the vet. Catch it with what! Take it where!These requests have gone too far...
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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