It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Randomize
