I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
