i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
