we have officially lost it.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Randomize
