Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
