We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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