please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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