Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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