Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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