he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
