do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
3pm strippers are depressing
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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