I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
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